The Good Old Days

I have a spectacularly terrible memory.  I count on pretty much everything in my life being written down.

I've been revisiting an old blog lately because I am having problems getting back into the kind of lifestyle I actually want to lead - one that is about being healthy, being active and being an active participant in my own life.

I was thinking, wow, it was so much EASIER when I first started this years ago.  But in reading those old posts, I realized, no, it actually wasn't. It was hard then, too.  It was hard to learn how to eat properly.  It was hard to find the motivation to get out of bed hours before dawn just to go to the gym.  It was hard to find people who also wanted to be active and were interested in things like hiking and working out and dancing and stuff.

But I realized that somewhere along the line I thought this would all be so second nature to me, that I would someday burst out of bed with a smile on my face thinking, YAY! I GET TO WORK OUT TODAY!

That has never happened.  The best it got was that it was so routine after a while that I didn't question it... I just kept moving until my clothes were on and I was walking out the door.

Knowing how to eat healthy has been easier -but ACTUALLY eating healthier is still challenging.  When I'm tired and sad, I want comfort food -like mac n cheese or cookies.  I have yet to crave carrots.

In a weird way, it DOES help to know that the struggle isn't new. It helps to know that the way in has been paved.  It helps to remember that, like all journeys home, it is simply one step at a time.